Home Again

I have now been home for about 1 month after 19 months abroad.  What can I say now that I have fully digested being home?  Well I think it has become abundantly obvious to me that I can't live in the US right now and be fulfilled.  This isn't to say that I don't want to eventually settle down with a career here, but after getting a taste of what else is out there, I want some more of that first.  I have many friends here that either have full time work or are seeking a better job here.  I completely respect that path as I was on it myself. Prior to moving to South Korea, I worked at a full time job for over 3 years, and it wasn't doing anything for me. Sure I gained valuable technical experience in the Environmental Consulting industry, and put some money in my pocket,  but it wasn't satisfying my desire to live.  I came to the realization that there was nothing stopping me from quitting my job and making a major change in my life.  The only thing in my way was what I thought I was supposed to do.  I found out that there wasn't anything I was supposed to do, except find my own happiness.  So I sought happiness my own way, and opted for the relative unknown, and moved to South Korea to teach English.

For 17 months I lived in South Korea, and it was, all in all, one of the best experiences of my life. Sure there were ups and downs, but overall it was a highly positive experience.  I believe that the aspects that I found challenging have only made me a more mature and capable person.  I am just now thinking back on it all and trying to put it into some sort of cohesive narrative in my mind.  I have tried to talk about my experience to friends and family back here at home, and I just start jumping from story to story.  I also did about 2 months of traveling following my stint in South Korea.  Because those travels are the most recent thing in my mind, as well as something I found so exciting and different, I tend to talk about it more than my time in South Korea. I want people to try and get a sense of what life was like there and why I loved it so much.  I now regret not blogging during my time there because it is overwhelming to try and write about it all now.  I know it is pretty much an impossibility because even I have now forgotten many details.  I also don't remember exactly how I was feeling at each point during my experience there.  Not to mention that many things that people would find to be really interesting and different are now normal to me, so I wouldn't remember to include them.  

I will eventually try and write about certain parts of my experience in South Korea, as well as my travels post Korea, but I want to use this particular blog post to try and explain how I am feeling now.  Since arriving at home I have traveled a little bit, visited old stomping grounds, run trails that I used to frequent, spent time with old friends, as well as enjoyed American food.  These things have been amazing for me and I really enjoy these aspects of being home.  I have also laid the groundwork for some short term work here in my hometown, but I am apprehensive about looking for full-time work here.  I know that if I get a full-time job here I will find happiness in it, but I will sacrifice the opportunity to travel the world in the way that being young and unattached would allow me to do.  

During my time in South Korea, as well as traveling South East Asia, I met some of the most interesting people.  These people were living the kind of life that many Americans would believe is impossible.  The fellow teachers I met in Korea were from every English speaking country in the world.  They were either recent college graduates seeking adventure, people who could not locate jobs at home, people looking to save money to pay off debts, or just people who weren't satisfied with life back home.  After living there for a while, it began to feel like everyone and their mom was teaching English in South Korea.  After all, nearly everyone that I knew was an English teacher, so I forgot that this was not the normal path that most people take.  I mean I knew that this obviously was not the case, but once you are immersed in that world for an extended period of time, you get the sense that this was not unusual and even a common path.  This is just not the case, as I can't name more than 3 people I know personally from back home that have ever taught English in a foreign country.  Come to think of it, while in South Korea, I never met anyone from New Jersey and only a handful that were from the East coast of America.  I think this is a shame because I know so many people would benefit with the type of perspective teaching in a foreign country can give you.  Not so much the mindset that America is not a good place, but quite the opposite.  I began to understand why America was such a good place to live and grow up.  At the same time I gained an appreciation for what else there is out there, and became enticed by the idea that there were many other life paths I could pursue.  If living in South Korea could have such a profound affect on the way I viewed my life in America, and life in general, imagine what living in other places around the world could yield.  I believe that traveling is one of the best educations that a person can get.

It's funny because I sometimes forget how long I was actually gone because my life abroad was like a different life.  It almost feels like I went to sleep in November 2011 and had this amazing dream.  Then something reminds me of the duration of my absence.  For example, I walked into Best Buy and all the TVs are 300-400 dollars cheaper than the last time I was there.  Or I go for a run, and a trail that I know well, will abruptly end with a huge lot of solar panels that have obviously been there for a while.  Of course there are many other things that remind me that I have been gone for awhile, but overall I don't feel as though I really missed out on too much.  Even if I get the sense that I may have missed something I would have liked to have been there for, I don't for a second think I would have rather have been there for that one event over all the great events that occurred in my own life while abroad.  After a few conversations with my father, who is full of funny life stories and experiences, I realize that I now have many interesting stories to tell.  I feel sort of like a gained about 5 years of stories in the 19 months I was away.  One thing you learn, when you live or travel in a foreign place, is that normal everyday things in that country are quite interesting to you.  Whether I was walking to work in South Korea, ordering food in Tokyo, trying to use a payphone at a Chinese airport, stopping at a rest area in Thailand, drinking coffee in Vietnam or riding a bus in Cambodia, something unusual to my western experiences and sensibilities about life would occur.  In a backpacker magazine in Thailand, I read something that said roughly that the best thing about traveling is that everyday life in a new place is something that a traveler would find interesting and exciting.  Stopping at a Wawa in New Jersey might not yield anything noteworthy, while going to a Family Mart in Japan might become something that you will never forget.  It really is about the little things, and traveling to a new place will really make you appreciate and see the little things. 

I think that knowing these things about how exciting life can be, and how large and interesting the world can be, is what is impeding me from settling down with a full time job here.  I want more, and I think that is where I am right now. Saint Augustine's wisdom inspires me, "The world is a book and those who don't travel  read only one page."  I feel as though I am still in the introduction portion of that book, and won't feel satisfied until I read some more. For now, I will use this time to do things that I missed when I was away, and things that I feel compelled to do now that I don't have a full time job.  The main ones are reading, running and relaxing.  The three things that I think not enough people do, and can really cleanse your mind and body.  As for seeing some more of the "world book", I will find the next page, with a little time and luck.  Next time I promise to write about it as it happens.  Not just for others to read, but for me to stop and take stock in how lucky I am to have the opportunity.  If there is one thing I can tell you for sure, that I learned traveling, is that I am a lucky man.